{"id":793,"date":"2011-08-24T20:55:50","date_gmt":"2011-08-25T01:55:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/garyborders.atomicnewstools.com\/pages\/?p=793"},"modified":"2012-01-28T21:03:51","modified_gmt":"2012-01-29T03:03:51","slug":"abercrombie-fitch-and-abs-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/abercrombie-fitch-and-abs-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Abercrombie & Fitch, and Abs"},"content":{"rendered":"

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News item: Abercrombie & Fitch has offered to pay Mike \u201cThe Situation\u201d Sorrentino of the \u201cJersey Shore\u201d reality show to not wear its merchandise. Sorrentino is said to be highly insulted by the offer from the racy teen retailer.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have never watched \u201cJersey Shore\u201d on MTV. From what I have read, that is a wise decision for anyone hoping to not destroy any more brain cells than necessary. At my age, I figure I don\u2019t have a lot of margin for error. Speaking of age, I have resigned myself to accepting the senior discount at movie theatres, though I\u2019m drawing the line at joining AARP or getting the early-bird special at Luby\u2019s. As of a few days ago, I am now closer to 60 than 50, though I have no plans to rush it.<\/p>\n

Anyway, apparently Mike \u201cThe Situation\u201d Sorrentino is fond of showing off his stomach muscles, which from the photo I saw in the Wall Street Journal are tight enough to bounce a nickel off. I believe the term is \u201csix-pack abs.\u201d Like most American men, though I am nowhere near obese, the only time \u201csix pack\u201d is said in direct association with my abs is when I bring home some brewskis from the grocery store. The work required to have abs like Mr. \u201cThe Situation\u201d is far more than I\u2019m willing to undertake. Even if I did, I am too modest to walk around in public with my shirt pulled up. For that, my unadoring public is grateful, I\u2019m sure.<\/p>\n

Apparently, A&F feels that Mr. \u201cThe Situation\u201d is not a great role model for its brand. It issued a statement saying, \u201cWe understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,” the statement read. In the interest of research I read a synopsis of Season 4, Episode 3 in an online post from the WSJ.<\/p>\n

I quote: \u201cBrittany comes out of Mike\u2019s room and wants to know what\u2019s keeping him. So this leaves Snooki to panic to JWOWW about Jionni breaking up with her. JWOWW counsels Snooki, saying she won\u2019t lose Jionni over this whole Mike thing. Snooki seems genuinely upset. So is Mike just claiming they got together because he got burned? Or did Snooki give in? We\u2019ll never know!\u201d<\/p>\n

Hoo boy. Thank the Lord for C-Span.<\/p>\n

My only encounter with A&F came last year, when our daughter attended a Justin Bieber concert in Houston, accompanied by my Beautiful Mystery Companion while I watched a football game in the hotel room 20 stories above. The next day we went to the Galleria. They wandered off while I sat on a bench and read a book, there being pretty much nothing in the Galleria that I\u2019m interested in spending too much money to purchase. (Actually, my wife feels the same way. We were indulging the new teen for her birthday.)<\/p>\n

I looked up from the book and saw this impossibly sculpted young man, maybe 18, shirtless and talking to some teen girls outside a mall store. \u201cThat boy needs to put his shirt on,\u201d I thought and went back to reading. Later I noticed yet another shirtless male. This one might have owned an eight-pack of rippled muscles. His stomach looked like a series of West Texas mesas turned on its side.<\/p>\n

The womenfolk returned to the bench. \u201cDid you see those boys just walking around without shirts?\u201d I asked. \u201cWhat\u2019s up with that?\u201d They, of course, rolled their eyes and explained the boys were male models for A&F, one of its edgy marketing devices. \u201cThey just pay those kids to stand around without shirts and look good?\u201d I asked incredulously.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, and they sure look good!\u201d both replied. I was rather shocked.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how much A&F is offering to \u201cThe Situation\u201d to not wear its line of clothes. This is likely just another edgy marketing ploy, since A&F carries a shirt called \u201cThe Fitchuation,\u201d and another that just says, \u201cGTL.\u201d That stands for gym, tan and laundry, which apparently take up a lot of the \u201cJersey Shore\u201d cast\u2019s time.<\/p>\n

Regardless, here\u2019s my offer. I\u2019m willing to not wear A&F\u2019s line of clothing for, let\u2019s say, $9. That\u2019s enough to buy me a six pack of a decent micro-brewed beer, including sales tax. Further, I promise to never go shirtless in the mall. That alone ought to be worth the money<\/p>\n

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Print this entryNews item: Abercrombie & Fitch has offered to pay Mike \u201cThe Situation\u201d Sorrentino of the \u201cJersey Shore\u201d reality show to not wear its merchandise. Sorrentino is said to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-793","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-40"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/793","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=793"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/793\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":802,"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/793\/revisions\/802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=793"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=793"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=793"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}