{"id":643,"date":"2010-12-31T23:56:50","date_gmt":"2010-12-31T23:56:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/garyborders.atomicnewstools.com\/pages\/?p=643"},"modified":"2012-01-28T23:57:05","modified_gmt":"2012-01-28T23:57:05","slug":"damn-that-autocorrect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/garyborders.com\/pages\/damn-that-autocorrect\/","title":{"rendered":"Damn That Autocorrect!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Print this entry<\/a><\/p>

Nearly everyone in my family uses an iPhone. So when I gathered with family at Christmas, we all were being nerds, checking our iPhones for text messages, e-mails, playing games, etc.<\/p>\n

Well, I wasn\u2019t playing games, but I am guilty of incessantly checking for e-mails and reading stories from various newspaper websites when I should be paying attention to an actual human being sitting across the table. One of my New Year\u2019s resolutions is to soften my addiction to the digital information overload.<\/p>\n

Anyway, over brunch at Kerby Lane on the outskirts of Cedar Park recently, all four of us were playing with our iPhones, which is when the younger folks told me about a couple of websites devoted to the goofy \u2014 and often profane \u2014 messages that result from not paying attention to the iPhone\u2019s autocorrect feature when text-messaging. As always, I thought, \u201cDang, wish I had thought of that.\u201d Story of my life.<\/p>\n

I know there are some folks out there reading this who don\u2019t text message. Good for you, seriously. The reality is that for people under, say, 35, this is preferred to actually talking on a phone or e-mailing. I have learned that I am far more likely to get a response from one of my adult daughers if I TM them. If I leave a voice mail or e-mail, it could be days before they respond.<\/p>\n

To recap, for those who barely know what an iPhone is, yet alone own one, it is a mini-computer\/phone that allows you to do lots of cool stuff. This is no endorsement of Apple\u2019s products. That will require a cash payment that is to date not forthcoming. I\u2019m not holding my breath.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the deal. When you type a text message on an iPhone, it suggests words when the software thinks you have misspelled something. If you are typing quickly, the suggestion takes the place of what you have typed, and you quickly could have sent a message that contains words and phrases utterly unintended.<\/p>\n

This is not a problem for geezers like me, who attempt to ensure whatever we write is as grammatically correct as possible. I self-edit everything, even TMs. Not to say I don\u2019t mess up, but it\u2019s not from a lack of effort. Turns out, lots of folks who TM on an iPhone don\u2019t bother to see what autocorrect has done to their messages before they hit the \u201csend\u201d tab. The results are hilarious.<\/p>\n

Parental Discretion Note: These sites contain scads of adult language, either because of the inadvertent conversions by autocorrect, or the irritated reactions from the message senders. I had to work at finding family friendly messages to post below. Way I figure, life is funny and at times a bit profane, though I draw the line as usual at putting anything in print that my mom would find offensive. Or your mom, for that matter. But here are several samples of some funny auto-correctiveness:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Are you feeling OK?<\/em><\/p>\n

No just feel sick to my stomach today.<\/p>\n

Take some ammonium<\/em><\/p>\n

Immodium*<\/em><\/p>\n

Lol<\/p>\n

Lol. Damn autocorrect. You prob think I\u2019m trying to poison you.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was gonna say I\u2019m not drinking windex<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2022 Only time will tell if we incested wisely.<\/p>\n

I mean invested oooops lol<\/p>\n

Haha what a typo gonna face book that<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2022 I\u2019m getting my loin charged.<\/p>\n

Loon charge<\/p>\n

OIL CHANGED!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2022 Grandpa bought me a corndog from the devil.<\/p>\n

From the devil?<\/em><\/p>\n

Wow\u2026deli haha<\/p>\n

Lol\u2026nice<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2022 Can you come over tonight?<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t. I have to feed my hostages.<\/em><\/p>\n

*grandparents. Jeez<\/em><\/p>\n

Wow, sorry I asked. Haha<\/p>\n

You can come eat if you want. I\u2019m cooking ham. Promise I won\u2019t take you hostage<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>\u2022 Momma, I have baked pot if you haven\u2019t eaten.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2022 I just wanted to say: I love you.<\/em><\/p>\n

Oh, babe. I love you too. So much.<\/p>\n

If I could, I\u2019d buy you a casket.<\/p>\n

Gah! A castle! Damn auto correct. Way to ruin a moment.<\/p>\n

I definitely do not want you in a casket.<\/p>\n

Hello?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2022 Are you on your way?<\/p>\n

Yep! I\u2019ll be home in about 15 mins with the LSD!<\/em><\/p>\n

Aaaah! Kids! Not LSD!<\/em><\/p>\n

That would have made for an interesting night, babe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As Art Linkletter used to say, \u201cKids say the darndest things.\u201d Especially if they\u2019re TMing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Print this entry<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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