I Love the Sound of a Blowtorch

by admin | May 29, 2026 8:47 am

As I toil away here at Three Geese Farm, doing all the hobby farm chores, I constantly look for labor-saving devices. I mentioned buying a fuel transfer pump, so I don’t have to balance precariously on the tractor to pour five gallons of diesel into the tank, whose cap sits on the top of the engine cover. The plan is to avoid another shoulder surgery or, likely worse, falling off the tractor and being covered in diesel fuel. With the transfer pump, I leave the can on the ground, hook the hose inside the tank, and push a button.

Most of these gadgets pop up on my Facebook feed. That app reads my mind, or at least it likes to think it does. I will click somewhere, wistfully thinking about getting a new UTV, aka a side-by-side, so I can stop messing with the 2005 Kawasaki Mule that requires little brother Gregg’s mechanical skills every few months to resurrect it. It has electrical issues. After clicking on that, every fourth FB feed is for a UTV dealer.[1]

For a few weeks, Cavapoo sites appeared every hour, featuring brief videos of cute Cavapoos with imaginary, occasionally clever dialogue. I don’t know why, except that we have a rescue Cavapoo, Gatsby, who has been trained as a therapy dog and is adorable. Maybe FB heard me talking about how sweet Gatsby is and decided I needed a full smorgasbord of Cavapoo clips. I have no idea.

So that is how I ended up with the blowtorch.

A bit of background is required. Over the past five years, we have had several walkways built to break up the rectangular monotony of the fenced part of the backyard, plus another walkway leading to the front door. There are a couple of hundred feet of walkway covered in river rock, with salvaged bricks along the sides to hold it in place. We put down landscape cloth to prevent weeds from popping up, at least the second time we redid the walkways. That is supposed to stop grass and weeds from popping up among the river rock.

I have discovered that landscape cloth is not infallible. This is East Texas, which would revert to an impenetrable jungle in just a few years if left untended. I have a few areas on this farm that are living proof of that. Grass and weeds grow as you watch them in spring and throughout our six-month summer.

We refuse to use poison where critters can get to it. For the past couple of years, I have been spraying weeds with vinegar mixed with a bit of liquid dish soap. That helps it stick to the weeds. It works OK, but it has to be repeated often.

Which brings me back to the blowtorch. I saw an FB ad featuring a rugged man wielding a blowtorch that cleared a huge swath of waist-high weeds in mere seconds. It had an engraved, fake-silver, gunslinger-style pistol grip, about three feet of piping, and a propane bottle —the kind one hooks to camp stoves — swinging from the bottom. I bought one on the spot, waiting impatiently for it to arrive. Those weeds were growing as I waited.

Once it arrived, I ran to the sporting goods store and picked up a couple of propane bottles. I assembled the blowtorch, ignited the flame, and headed to the front yard, where a large section of river rock leading to the porch was choked with weeds. Those weeds were about to get their comeuppance. Whoosh! I ignited the blowtorch, taking care to keep my feet out of the way.

Maybe the rugged fellow in the FB ad bought the deluxe version of the blowtorch, if one exists. Mine did indeed burn the leaves and stalks, but at a markedly slower pace. I used an entire $14 bottle of propane on that one area. The blowtorch was fun to use, just not nearly as effective as I had hoped. A few days later, the weeds popped right back up, as they do in East Texas, where weeds decline to die. My next ploy is to spray vinegar, wait a few days, and then use the blowtorch once again.

I sure like that whooshing sound that blowtorch makes.

Source URL: https://garyborders.com/pages/i-love-the-sound-of-a-blowtorch/

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