To A Senior Upon Graduation

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Dear Abbie:

Tonight you graduate from high school. Wrapping my head around that takes effort. It seems just a few days ago you were a 10-year-old girl, hair tied back in a schrunchie, clutching a Harry Potter book and sizing me up from your side of the table at Pizza King. I remember your salad was drenched with ranch dressing, a habit you have maintained. Your mom and I had started dating a few weeks earlier, and this was a big step, allowing me to meet you. I guess I passed the test, since happily I’m still around more than eight years later — the last five years as a family.

Our time together has been filled with joy and wrenching tragedy, heartache and major life changes. Through it all, you have prevailed and excelled. There have been a few bumps on the road, but that is to be expected. I can tell you my teenage years were filled with more bumps than yours — all self-inflicted.

I have no intention of providing details.

I have been blessed beyond what I deserve to become part of you and your mom’s lives. Both of you tolerate my ways, which is no mean feat. I am well aware of what that takes. Thank you for your forbearance and love.

Abbie, in so many ways you are wise beyond your years. In other aspects, you’re a typical goofy teenager whom I love dearly. So here’s some advice, from an old guy who is quite certain you will accomplish great things and live a fine, fulfilling life. I hope and pray I live long enough to revel in your success:

• Cherish life and treasure every day. That sounds mundane, but you have no idea how fast time passes. You will wake up one day at my age, with inevitable regrets and loved ones lost. So try your best to make every day count. Attempt to do well, whether it’s in your job, with your family or simply performing acts of kindness.
• You will spend most of your awake time on this earth working. So love what you do, no matter what it pays. You will be happier working for less money at a job you love than making a bunch of money doing something you despise. Trust me.
• Keep your life simple. Don’t buy too much stuff. Avoid debt like the plague. It took me a long time to figure this out. It is just stuff, after all. Dust in the wind.
• When it comes down to who sticks by you in tough times, family prevails. Right now, your friends matter more to you than family. That’s the way it goes at your age and stage. But that is transitory. Eventually you will realize that your family will be there no matter what happens, as you have been for us. Yes, we are a bunch of goofball old folks, but we have your back. Always.
• Never stop learning. You are so smart, inquisitive and analytical, so I think you will always do this. But push yourself, both in college and after. Learn ridiculous things, like Latin or how to play chess. Always stretch your mind.
• Pray often, read Scripture, but don’t be afraid to question or be questioned about your faith. That is part of growing up and learning who you are.
• Finally, never lose that kind heart of yours, no matter what life throws at you. You have already endured more than many teenagers, but unfortunately, there will be more setbacks and tragedies. There always is.

The really good news for your mom and me is that you are going to spend your first year here, attending LeTourneau University. We will continue to be graced by your entertaining and sweet presence — and the price is right. But you will be challenged there, and you will be asked to work hard.

So work hard, my dear daughter. That’s my best advice. I did not expect eight years ago to inherit another sweet girl, but I’m so grateful I did.

I love you, Abster.

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