King Tut and The Glue Guy

Print this entry

From the New York Times: The blue and gold braided beard on the burial mask of famed pharaoh Tutankhamun was hastily glued back on with epoxy, damaging the relic after it was knocked during cleaning, conservators at the Egyptian Museum in Cairo have said.

|———|

I didn’t do it. I have an airtight alibi.

Epoxy? Really? I would have used Gorilla Glue. Epoxy is a pain because you have to mix the two parts together. Invariably I get some on my fingers and then spend the next week peeling dried glue from my skin. Gorilla Glue definitely can be tricky, because it expands as it dries and tends to bubble up on the outer surface of what is being glued together.

I know this because I am the designated gluer in this family, a title I don’t take lightly. Whether it is gluing the head back on a broken ceramic Santa, or repairing a wobbly chair, my Beautiful Mystery Companion and our daughter turn to me. Christmas is peak season as we unpack the dozen or so plastic bins of decorations and discover which ones have mysteriously fractured since being put away right after New Year’s. But being the Glue Guy is a year-round job.

I used to build mission-style furniture back when I had more time, and someday I will again, Lord willing. I type on a desk I built in 2008, read in a Morris chair I labored over in 2001, and take naps on weekends on a prairie sofa built in 2006. The latter nearly turned out to be a disaster, because I forgot to measure the door the sofa would have to go through to arrive in the study — in the old house I lived in at the time. A buddy and I ended up taking off the door and the doorframe molding to get the sofa in the study. Glue is a vital ingredient in furniture making, as well as all manner of clamps. So naturally I’m the Glue Guy.

According to the Times article, the curators who repaired King Tut’s mask actually did their work while tourists watched at the Egyptian Museum. Big mistake. I always make my repairs to broken household objects when nobody is watching, so they don’t see me frantically trying to scrape the bubbled Gorilla Glue off of Santa’s beard — much like the curators apparently scratched the gold surface of Tut’s mask trying to get the epoxy off.

Experts are now saying the damage is repairable, a line I have often used when it turns out I glued the porcelain chicken’s head on backward. This is probably true, given the amazing work restoration folks can do. I suspect the curators who epoxied Tut’s beard back on will be making a meager living sweeping the steps of the Great Pyramids when this is all over.

By the way, here are a couple of gluing tips. Never use Gorilla glue for furniture. Use wood glue. It is far more forgiving, and one can clean the excess glue off with a wet paper towel. Second, Gorilla Glue — which really is excellent for many other types of surfaces, but not metal — tends to dry out in the bottle before it is used up. I found it frustrating to keep throwing away half-full bottles of the stuff, because it isn’t cheap.

A flash of inspiration hit one day. I stuck a bottle that had dried out on its surface, so no glue would come out, in the microwave. With experimentation, I determined that 12 seconds on high will melt the dried glue.

Be careful trying this at home. It is probably best if the better half is out grocery shopping when you do this. If you zap Gorilla Glue too long, the plastic bottle itself might melt. And then you would have to run down to the Big Box Store and buy another microwave before your wife returned.

I realize this might sound sexist, as if women are not capable of making repairs with glue. Of course they are, but only a guy is brave enough to stick Gorilla Glue in the microwave. Or, for that matter, use epoxy on King Tut’s beard.

Print this entry